Goodbye 2008

Well, it's nearly 9pm on December 31st 2008
I am waiting for Nancy to come by and pick me up - we're off to Toby & Kurt's for the annual New Years Eve bash. What to say about 2008...

Not sure - it was one of those years that was "just there" - certainly landmark things happened around the world - but personally, in my world - it pretty much ran average - not too hot - not too cold. I did progress on my spiritual journey more than ever - which has instilled more of a sense of calm, so perhaps that's why this year didn't seem to bring anything too anything...

So - at this moment, I am thankful for all my family and friends - that health has kept us all well in the past year and hopefully will continue in 2009. I'm thankful for slowly finding my "voice" and standing up for myself more and more. Thankful that my kritters are still kicking - Henry Rollins is about 14 1/2 years old, Stella 9 1/2 - my kitty boo's...

Well - I best go check "my face" and gather my coat... cheers and happy new years!!! :)

The eve of xmas eve

as I sit, xmas tree lites blinking
news yadda yadda-ing about the snow
snow snow more snow
for xmas eve
I am thankful for the year
thankful for arriving home after another dreadful
snowfall - snow slicked roads
only claimed me so far as to make my
car spin this a.m, in a U shape
for some reason I had a "whatever"
attitude as I backed my car up and
got back on the right path
But now, home - happy - car parked
resting - listening to the plow clear the lot
downloading Katy Perry's album via iTunes
and getting ready to crawl into
bed and watch some more "Weeds"

I think I'll let the tree lites blink
all night long
and dream of sugar plums
and all that jazz :)

Merry Day Before Christmas Eve - Eve!

Sunday Sunday...

Here I sit, in front of the screen - which is near my living room window - that I have open a bit for fresh air - it's a bit disorientating that the temp is already 40, predicted to go up to 45. Winter in Wisconsin.

Went to two xmas parties last night - Joe & Joey's and Eric, Matt and Nancy's. It's great to have wonderful friends, and to get together under joyful circumstances. It was great seeing people I see on a nearly daily basis and the ones I only see at gatherings such as these. Was really nice to reconnect with an old friend and clear the air - hopefully moving forward things can develop.


I have to run to the store to finish up my secret santa gift purchasing (for work) - though I just want to be a bit lazy today. I guess considering I didn't get home until 2 am last night after enjoying my fair share of beverages, and questionable sleep - I should be fairly proud of myself to have already fully cleaned the litter box, and uploaded party pics to both my facebook and myspace... I'm sure I'll hit the "wall" in awhile.

Besides my errand I have to run, I plan to watch "Dark Knight" this afternoon - I saw it in the theater, and look forward to watching it again. I LOVE films like that. I also plan to make some turkey chili, finish decorating the xmas tree, and read. I love EZ days...

So this blog is a little babbly and much about everyday life/not much - but isn't that what a personal blog is all about?

as I look outside my window...

at all the snow on the ground - I appreciate how beautiful it is, and that I live in a part of the country that experiences all sorts of weather - from 100 degrees and humid to sub zero, snot freezing cold, and all this snow... The upside of last years record snowfall is that I'm much less timid driving in this stuff. I do wish it would warm up a bit (today isn't too bad - currently 27 degrees, and the sun is peaking out from behind the clouds) - I really LOVE those 32 degree/sun shining/snow on the lawns/clean streets winter days - the air is so refreshing.

Thanksgiving...

thankful for...
family, friends, warm place to rest my head,
food in my belly, gas in my car, knowledge in my noggin...
my kitties, my fish, laughter, the ability to talk, to walk,
to see, to feel, to smell, to taste... the contrasts in life
that make my want more, believing in myself a little
more each day... good books, hot baths, yummy tea,
good movies, funny tv, afternoon naps, creativity...
a well-functioning computer, a desire to experience
new activities... so much more - hard to put it all to words
right now - just wanted to make sure I took a moment
of thanks...

Happy Post Turkey Day to everyone, I hope all are well!!!

books...

maybe i'm more of a tactile person than i'd like to admit. but i like books.i like books made of paper - that i can hold in my hands, that i can throw in my purse, or my work bag, or sit in a hot tub with. i loves my books.

amazon has that new electronic thingee - the kindle - and i am intrigued. i am totally a gadget whore - i love my iPod - stocked full of music, podcasts, and books on tape - but that's all audio stuff - meant to be listened to, conveniently stored on a tiny 80 GB device. what did i do before iPods?

will i eventually say that about the kindle? will i think "what did i do b4 this" - but i gotta wonder, how comforting is it to walk around with your entire literary collection on an expensive, electronic device? how am i supposed to haul it out when i want to take a warm bath and read? i can't imagine a life of purely locating new reads by surfing the net - vs going to a brick n' mortar and surfing the shelves, smelling that smell of paper and coffee, feeling the coolness of the hardcovers, the lightness of the softcovers - looking at all the imaginative covers...

the thought of this possibly becoming a thing of the past makes me a little sad...

the closer i get to me... the more my ego puts up a fight...

so - this year has been largely comprised of really digging in to connecting with who i am - not what i have, what i do - who i know... i definitely consider it a spiritual journey - consuming the words of Wayne Dyer, Jerry & Ester Hicks, Louise Hay, Laura Day, Cheryl Richardson, Buddhist texts (too many different authors to mention), Eckhart Tolle, the list goes on and on... not to mention the podcasts, the dvd's, the audio books... all sending me on a more peaceful and happy journey - i am curious though - is it just me - or every time you get a little bit closer to your source, opting to disregard the ego - your ego takes a hold in a most vicious manner - shaking you into anger, anxiety, suspicion, jealousy, sadness... i have definitely noticed a pattern... that ego is a nasty little bugger - who won't go down without a fight... BUT - I do notice a significant difference for the most part - of being happy with who I am, here and now, and eager to continue on the journey... i believe the contrast is important, so i can realize when i've got it right, and when i'm heading further away from who i am...

i woke up this morning to a news report of an accident on a freeway exit - because of an early morning snowfall... i had no clue it had snowed - since lately i've opted to limiting my viewing of news since 90% of it is negative - the snowfall was a surprise... i peeked out my bedroom window - sure enough, there was snow on the ground, and instead of my usual fretting about how i was going to get to work safely, i calmly layed back down and relaxed - later looking back out the window, noticing how amazingly beautiful the snow looked on the trees.

yes, virginia, there has been a shift in aimer's life... and even with the contrast - the angst, the nervous thoughts - i wouldn't trade it for the apathy that surrounded my heart for far too long... even if i've always been a "cup half full" person... i was simply going thru the motions - and stopping that process can be jarring to an ego that has gotten quite used to it's place in my life... after all, it has had far too many years practicing it's art...

just a few random thoughts on a monday night... my cup of tea awaits - namaste!

first snowfall of the season...

well, last night we got some quite unexpected "squall line" (?) snowfall - temporary bursts of blinding snow. i white knuckled it all the way home after work - worst part was when I hit some black ice about half a mile from home, just before a fairly significant hill i have to go down on my way to safely home. today everyone had a tale of their equally stressful rides home. not ready for this aspect of winter yet - not.at.all. i guess as long as we don't have to deal with the snowfalls of last year - all is good... very thankful i got home safely and albeit a little less than sound - and that all friends and fam that are accounted for also made it home safely... check out the picture from one of last years dreadful snowfalls!

still sick...

well - it's sunday. i made it in to work on thursday and friday - despite practically coughing up my lungs - you know, that hard-driven hack so forcefully it enacts that little annoying reflex at the back of the throat - tho nothing came up... ahem... kinda gross, i know - but i'm blogging abooot it anyway... yesterday went to an afternoon hockey game with the gang - t'was enjoyable even though i was a tad under the cough suppressent drug haze - afterwards we headed to woody's bar to hang out with friends - i drank only a little in hopes it would take the edge off of my cold - opting to just enjoy being with friends and finding fits of laughter instead of those of the coughing variety. got home by 7pm, in bed by 8pm... hacked all night long... exhausted today, but glad to take it easy. i am hopeful this bronchitus bug will evacuate soon... the cats aren't exactly sure what to make of their lazy human mom, but they seem to delight in it, curling up closely wherever i lay my lethargic self...

at least it was sunny for part of the day - and i opened up the window to get some fresh air, 35 degrees... winter is nearly here..

at home...sick...

I guess it was just a matter of time before the cold cooties descended upon my body - I fought the good fight though - telling myself "I am healthy...I am healthy... I am healthy" - this worked until my birthday goings-on ended. I am thankful for that. I've now been walloped quite hard - no energy, runny sneezy nose, lungs filled with phlegm... I love how that word looks - not so much how it sounds or how it feels ;) Anywhoodle - after a valiant effort of going into work yesterday, I tossed up the white flag o' surrender and stayed home today, as I would have been useless at work. I am off to slather Target's version of "VapoRub" on my chest, lay in bed and sort of watch copious amounts of cable - or read more of the third "Sookie (Southern Vampire Series)" book - I am soooo addicted to the series of books now that "True Blood" is on HBO...

I'm not sure what turning 39 should feel like

I do know that spending time with friends and family makes the process of aging a little bit easier - life's good.

I do know that it's a little harder to dance the night away - but then again, some of that may be due the fact that I've succumbed to riding a desk 40 hours a week and still haven't made going to the gym a priority.

I do know that getting to know new people can be fun and just as challenging as it was many years ago, but it really is worth taking a risk.

Slowly I am getting over myself and my reserved nature - sometimes I surprise myself.

My hopes for my 39th year on this earth is more joy, deeper friendships, great love and remembering what is important when the small stuff gets in the way.

election day

presidential elections
today
short wait in the early am
even provided a chair while
i waited

happily take the ballot
refuse to vote straight ticket
because I delight in drawing the line
in for my presidential choice

beautiful day
73
don't care if snow is on the way

as it looks right now
my choice for prez
has a very very good chance
of making history tonight
being the first
african american president

I'm proud to have voiced my opinion
I'm proud to see history in the making

I'm a little smiley inside today...

daylight savings time ends - cat gets stuck in bathroom

I woke before new-time 6 a.m. to my cat scratching at the bathroom door.

I stumbled out to let her out - the door wouldn't budge...

I think she somehow got one of the vanity drawers open - which is right next to the door - which is prohibiting the door from opening - which is freaking me out...

I called apt maintenance - he's on his way... I'm flooded with all these images of sawing down the door... I'm a bowl full of anxiety right about now...

And I can't even pee... or wash my face...

Update to come...
.................................................................

UPDATE:
Cat is out - maintenance dude had to break a hole in the door because he couldn't get at the hinges, nor could he get the door knob thing out of it's hole... now they have to replace the door - he said "I don't know if they'll CHARGE you for the door" whatever.

I honestly feel if they feel the need to charge me - at most I should be responsible for 50% of the cost because although it's my fault the situation began, if they had constructed the bathroom better so the vanity drawers aren't RIGHT UP on the bathroom door, AND there was accessibility to the hinges - AND the door knob wasn't attached like it was protecting fort knox - the door would still be in one piece. But... it is what it is...

I'm crawling back into bed...

do you ever find yourself...

tied up in knots
all angsty dripping in anxiety
and suddenly
POOF
clarity sets in
and all is good
everything releases
reality sets in,
life...is...good

biggest loser product placement

...ok... I'll admit... I'm slightly addicted to the biggest loser... it ALMOST makes me get off my chubby butt and want to exercise... maybe even put down the snacky treats... but... and yes... there is a but (as compared to the aforementioned chubby butt)...

First off - why the hell is this show two hours every g'damn week? They s t r e t c h it out. They replay scenes that happened b4 the commercial breaks, after the commerical breaks - like I'm going to forget what happened two point two minutes ago... and every g'damn week there is some lame arse product placement. tonight's installment? "blue team bob" the trainer telling his kiddies how wonderful chewing sugar free gum is and how it can curb your sweet tooth for a mere bla bla amount of calories (i tend to tune this krap out). so blatent. so obvious. so ridiculous. So cheesy biggest loser - so cheesy...

it's that time of the year...

i do not have a sinus headache
i do not have a sinus headache
i...do...not...have...a...sinus...headache
lord have mercy the pressure in my head...
i do not have a sinus headache...
what can i take for this pain?
i do not have a sinus headache
thump thump thump thump
grrrr

chocolate jimmies look like mouse poo

I just cleaned up chocolate jimmies from my cubi-desk.  I had a flashback to the old job - when one day I looked down and thought "those look like chocolate jimmies - what in gods name did I eat with jimmies" and fortunately realized - that - alas, they were not jimmies - they were mouse droppings... today I looked at the jimmies that fell off the doughnut (what doughnut - I didn't eat no doughnut) and thought about that ol' friend of mine who frequented my old desk and dropped mousey jimmies all over the place...  Memories...

I feel like quoting...

I'm in the mood for quoting: 

SATC:

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself.  And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous"

4 Agreements:

"Whatever people do, feel, think or say, don't take it personally.  Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so whatever they think about is not about you.  But it is about them."  Don Miquel Ruiz

Dr Seuss:

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"

what the blog???

So... for many years now I've wanted to have a blog online that I could share.  I've tipped my toe in the water a bit using the myspace blog feature here and there - but nothing quite as obvious as this bugger... I do have a personal, for my eyes only blog - but, uhm, since it's for my eyes only - yeah, I had to mainstream... so you all can read my ditties.

Wanting to regain my passion for writing - something that for the most part, got left behind the moment I graduated from UWM and no longer took writing workshops - finding myself formerly working in a position that barely utilized my creative writing left my noggin high and dry.  

Now - I have no grand expectations for this to be home runs hit out of the ball park left and right - but perhaps having a place to endlessly babble will get me to where I want to be... a witty  babbler for all the world to read...

cheers from a corner cubicle...trying to get M.I.A's "Paper Planes" out of my head...